Christian Parenting Is Tough

Christian parenting is tough, because it’s really training yourself as a parent, not child training, that is the most difficult part! Training yourself to expect immediate, cheerful and complete obedience.

Motivated by love for God and love for your child, I hope you will do the hard work and train yourself, applying these steps, and being consistent in following through. Your home and family will be forever changed for the better if you do.

It’s Not Easy! Beg God to Help You!

It’s not easy. Please go to God and beg Him for help. Bathe your child rearing efforts in prayer! Be in the Word, sensitive to ways God wants to change your heart.

Ask God to show you any sins you need to confess, to your husband or children, and to God, and to repent of and then change, words, actions or attitudes He shows you.

There’s No Magic Formula in Christian Parenting

Always remember there is not a magic 1, 2, 3 and you’re done. God is working on us sinful creatures all our lives. However, I pray that these steps will help you to have more love, joy and peace in your home, as they did for us.

Now you’ve got hope in your heart that there might be an answer! Reading this series about obedience in children, you’ve now got hope in your heart that there might be a solution! If you haven’t read all the posts in this Series on Obedience in Children, here are the other posts for you to go back and read:

Read All The Posts in The Series on Obedience in Children and Share Them With Other Moms You Know Who Need This!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2:What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3:How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent

Part 5:Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child

“Why is it any more remarkable that you should expect your child to obey the 1st time you speak a command than expecting them to obey after the 2nd or 3rd time?” Wendy Gunn

Expect Obedience

Now that you’ve given an instruction, and they’ve responded verbally with “Yes, Mom,” or “Yes, Ma’am,” expect them to obey. If they, for some reason, need longer then 10 seconds to respond, they should ask your permission first.

For those of you who have not been accustomed to this kind of behavior in children, this may sound remarkable. 

Why is it remarkable that a child should obey the first time? Is it any more remarkable than that they should obey the 3rd or 4th time they’re spoken to? It’s just what they’ve been trained to do. I have found that the difficult person to train is not my child, but myself!

Previously explained consequences should immediately follow, if they do not obey. Success in training children depends upon your consistency in following through.

Leave no doubt as to whether you really mean it. You might find that you will think twice before giving a command or instruction, knowing that you have to expect immediate obedience or administer correction. That is a very good thing!

“You might think twice before giving a command or instruction, knowing that you have to expect immediate obedience or otherwise administer correction. That is a very good thing.” Wendy Gunn

Children Aged Two and Under

Considering the child’s age, you will find that very small children, 2 or under, will take less time to train in first-time obedience. May this motivate you to start very early with your training. Watch my 2-Minute Tip video on “1st-time Obedience.” (Have you subscribed to my YouTube Channel yet? While you’re there, Subscribe! You don’t want to miss any of my video tips!)

Forgetting to administer the consequences, especially at the beginning, is common. I have heard of young children who have come in tears to their mom, begging her to spank them. Under certain circumstances, your little children might remind you!

With younger ones it may be advantageous to plan some bite-sized training times to practice. Set up “obedience training” and be prepared with your “rod” of choice to administer one flick to the back of their bare legs. Try it on yourself first to see how it feels and realize just how little is needed; it should just sting. It won’t damage.

For example, for obedience training, set up something they are not supposed to touch on the coffee table within their reach. (These items should not be something you love, or fragile or irreplaceable.)

Go through the steps itemized in “How To Stop Being A Repeating Parent.” Be clear. Make sure they understand. Then hide nearby. Be prepared to apply consequences immediately if and when your child disobeys you.

This might sound mean, but it actually is for their good. The sooner that they understand that obedience is pleasant and disobedience is painful, and begin obeying you immediately, life will become so much sweeter for them! Is this not how the Lord works with us?

For blatant “in your face” defiance, I would take them quietly to their room or other private area, and administer the discipline to their bottom. More on that at another time.

After the correction has been administered, if the child was given an instruction to do something, expect them to go back and obey–to carry out the instruction as requested. They’re not off the hook.

The Younger You Start Consistent Discipline, The Easier It Is For Your Child

Whatever has been practiced all the child’s life or as far back as they can remember, is accepted as “just the way it is”! To them, this is what’s right and normal!

Always teach your children the truth that their obedience to you is obedience to God and the Bible and it pleases and shows love to the Lord.

If you remain calm and are consistent in your training, they’ll soon learn that this is the way it is in your home, and they’ll obey the first time, consistently.

Parents, Do Not Provoke Your Children

This is not a Biblical injunction to abuse your authority, or to be unfeeling and insensitive. Provoking your children to anger is prohibited in the Bible. The Bible says “fathers,” but mothers, too. Think before asking them to do something, or giving a command. Be sensitive to what your children are doing.

Are they focused on an activity they’re enjoying? Do you need to interrupt them right now? Is there a way to give your children less instruction? Can you give them more time to carry out the instruction? Does everything have to be done Right NOW, and HURRY UP! (This was my failing.) Evaluate the situation–have you been provoking your children?

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord:  for this is right.”

Ephesians 6:1

Train the Heart of Your Child

Speak to your children about the motivation of their heart for obedience. Teach your children to memorize Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3. Explain how you, too, have to obey. Establish the motivation in their hearts to always want to please God by obedience.

Your goal is not outward conformity to a set of rules. Your goal is not looking good in the eyes of others, or to have the praise of others. Your goal is to train the heart of your child to love the LORD Jesus Christ, and to be obedient to Him out of a loving heart, and to desire God’s approval, not man’s.

Obedience Brings Peace in Your Home

It is so much easier to live peacefully in a home, when there are clear boundaries and rules that are understood (this is true whether it is roommates, or a family) and where there is a clear consequence to breaking the rules, which is consistently applied each time there is an infraction of the rules.

Parents would enjoy their children much more (maybe even desire to have more of them) if they, the parents, were more consistent in disciplining them and training them in 1st-time obedience.

God has commanded parents to train their children to obey, and promises that children are blessed who honor and obey their parents. This is God’s will for both of you. And, it will make you and your children much happier in the long run.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:1-4

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

 Proverbs 22:15

Training yourself as a parent, not child training, is the most difficult part, you now see! I hope you are motivated to apply these steps, and be consistent in following through, out of love for God and love for your child. Your home and family will be forever changed, if you do.

Read All The Posts in The Series on Obedience in Children and Share Them With Other Moms You Know Who Need This!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2:What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3:How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent

Part 5:Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child

Do you have a story of your young child feeling more secure after receiving your loving discipline, or saying “No” to them–perhaps even requesting to be disciplined, because they felt so guilty? What success stories do you have to share of training your children, especially very young ones? Have you practiced blanket-training, for instance? Share in the comments.