5 Reasons Why Parents Fail
5 Reasons why Parents Fail
The title, 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail may be negative, but this is an encouraging post for you, as a Christian parent! We're talking about why parents fail at raising up your children in the nurture and admonition of the LORD and how to succeed. If you want to avoid failing, first realize that there is no perfection in Christian parenting and we must depend on the Holy Spirit and God's Word.
We need God's help, and we have to be humble, willing to learn, willing to grow. It's by the grace of God that anyone raises Godly children. I'm not writing here as a mom who did it perfectly. In Titus 2 God commands the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands and to love their children. I'm just here to give you encouragement as an older mom/Titus 2 woman, who has raised her children and by God's grace, they are grown children who love the LORD and are walking with Him. If you want to know 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail, and how to avoid that, please read on, and also go to the other posts and resources linked to below.
Satan would like parents to think, "Training your children is just following steps A, B, and C, and then you will get result D!" And it will all be great! "It’s simply a matter of following the right steps, and you’ll have the results you desire, without having to rely on the LORD at all!"
Satan also tells us that we are complete failures, and not to even try! Naturally, the world and our flesh help him on both counts. Do you want to succeed in raising your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? Of course, we all do! Then, avoid these 5 mistakes. But, remember, it is, when all is said and done, the work of the Holy Spirit to create Godly character in our kids.
Here are 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail, and What to Avoid.
You’re relying on yourselves in parenting, instead of the Lord.
Satan wants you to believe that your family is alone--the only ones--struggling with bad attitudes, and dealing with character issues. He wants you to believe that if you just ignore whatever sinful attitudes and behavior you see in your children, they’ll outgrow it, eventually. That it’s just a phase. And, he tells you, by all means, don’t share your problems with anyone! Fake it til you make it! Hide it from everyone. Pretend that you have your act together. The world also gives false encouragement, "You've got this! You can do it!"
Here is the truth. You are in the spiritual battle of your life, and you can’t fight it alone, and win. But, be encouraged. You have the LORD’s help and the right weapons in the Word of God. Victory is attainable, relying on the Lord. Fight, with total reliance on the LORD. And, be humble and ask for prayer--pray for one another--and look for help from spiritual authorities, when appropriate.
You’re reading the wrong book on parenting, and listening to the wrong people.
Which Parenting Book Are You Reading?
Are you reading the latest best-selling psychology book on parenting and child training, or are you reading "The Book," The Bible, God's Word? A popular trend right now is to proudly announce how many books you’re going to read this year, or this month. Sometimes the numbers are staggering!
While there’s nothing wrong with reading great books–I strongly encourage it! I'm reading 5 Christian books for women, as we speak–it does make me wonder how much time a person has left for studying the Bible. If you only have time today to read one book, make sure it's the Bible.
There’s only one book that is God’s inspired Word on how to successfully raise Godly boys and Godly girls. I need to say this to myself, but, make sure that your Bible study comes first, and all other reading, or other activities, come second, in your day.
You think it’s an ordinary battle, fought with ordinary weapons.
The Battle For Righteousness Exists In Every Home
This battle rages in every home, at some point, if you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. If you have a desire to raise up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and desire to live a pure and holy life, to set your mind on things above, the battle lines will be drawn.
It’s important to remember that there is a spiritual battle going on every day for your children. Let’s be honest, there’s a spiritual battle for your marriage, too. Maybe you think it's only in yours. You just can’t see it in other’s homes. But, it’s there.
We could help each other more, if we’d be a little more transparent, and bear one another’s burdens, as the Scriptures say. We must pray for one another! We tragically miss out on powerful prayer from our brothers and sisters in Christ, that would enable us to have victory, by not recognizing and admitting we’re in a spiritual battle.
Never forget you are fighting a spiritual battle in the work of training your children to be Godly adults (and in making a strong, faithful, Godly marriage)! Raising God kids is not done in the flesh. You need God’s weapons! You will not win unless you’re fighting with the spiritual weapons God has provided in His Word, recorded in Ephesians 6. Putting on the whole armor of God, and getting on your knees and praying! Crying out to your Heavenly Father on behalf of the children He has given you.
You don’t fast and pray God’s commands and His will.
Fast and Pray
At one time, I spent part of every Monday on my knees in prayer next to my bed. That was when I first began praying Scripture, as one of my spiritual routines, into my life. Asking God for what He’d already said in His Word and I knew He wanted.
I prayed for our family, and included the families from our church, on those Mondays. I prayed for marriages, for husbands to love their wives and wives to reverence their husbands, and for children, that they would honor and obey their parents, according to Ephesians 6.
And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask
anything according to his will, he heareth us:
And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that
we have the petitions that we desired of him. (1 John 5:14-15)
The Word of God does not return void. (Isaiah 55:11) Keep turning your children back to the Word. When you pray God’s commands, you know you’re praying God’s will.
You don’t realize the real issue is that your child isn’t saved.
Get a Heart Check Up
It’s a heart issue. And, a spiritual issue. If they are not truly saved, that may be why you’re dealing with the attitudes and behavior in the first place. Seeing no desire to please the Lord? Perhaps it is because they don’t have the Holy Spirit living within them, and, that is where you need to start.
Showing them from God’s Word what will result from their sin, if they don’t repent and turn from it, to the Lord Jesus Christ and His salvation, is imperative.
Speaking to them about Jesus’ death and resurrection are the first things to talk to them about, if there’s a chance that they are not truly saved. We cannot expect unsaved people to act like saved. Including our own children.
Good behavior can’t be pasted on. Or let’s remind ourselves, as parents, that we don’t want it pasted on. To make us look good. Or, so we’ll have a little peace in our homes.
We Were Not Perfect Parents
Of course, we tried to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but, looking back, we failed miserably, often. Really blew it. There were so many times we said the wrong thing, chose the wrong path, were too this or that.
But, God was so merciful to us, and gave us so much grace. He forgave us over and over again. Our children forgave us. God brought people and circumstances, good and bad, and blessings and trials into our lives, that both we and our children needed, in order to grow us in the Lord, teach us many lessons, and make us more like His Son.
If possible, let's avoid these 5 mistakes, and parenting failure, by trusting God, and applying these Biblical principles instead. Though we didn't totally avoid all these mistakes, God overcame them by His grace and power. And, He can do that in your lives, as well. Raising Godly children is, in the end, His work in their hearts. Read my series on Raising Godly kids, and be sure to get my book, "A 2020 Vision for Raising Godly Kids." Are you a new Homeschooler or just want encouragement to see the big picture again? Get my book, "How to Be a Success at Homeschooling from the Start."
We've answered why parents fail at raising children in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. You will succeed only by God's grace, and His work through you. You can aim for consistency, not perfection, and prioritize God's goals for your unique family, home, and life. There are many factors, and though there are steps that count and are important, in the end it is God's work in their hearts to bring them to Christ, which is the ultimate most important thing, and that's not our own doing. I hope that you will be encouraged here, though! Let me know your questions in the comments, or subscribe for more help being a consistent parent!.
"When you pray God's commands, you know you're praying God's will."
Here are Related Posts:
- How to Be Saved by God (In the end it is God's work in their hearts to bring them to Christ, which is the ultimate most important thing, and that's not our own doing.)
- Raising Godly Kids (here is a series of blog posts on the specifics of how to Raise Godly Kids!)
- Get my course, Raising Godly Kids here for prioritizing and knowing what is most important to focus on in parenting
I hope that you will be encouraged here! Let me know your questions in the comments, and subscribe for help living a consistent Christian life with clarity, prioritizing what's important. Then, you will not fail at parenting! By God's grace!
Have a Great Week Making Your Home For God!
I help overwhelmed young Christian moms have clarity and consistency prioritizing God's unique goals for their home, family, and life through courses and coaching.
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About the Author
Wendy Gunn helps young Christian moms have clarity and consistency prioritizing God's Unique Goals for their home, family, and life through courses and coaching.