5 Reasons why Parents Fail in Child Training


This will be an encouraging post on how to succeed as a Christian parent, though the title, 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail, may be negative! We’re talking about why parents fail at raising up their children in the nurture and admonition of the LORD and HOW TO SUCCEED! If you want to avoid failing, first realize that there is no perfection in Christian parenting, and we must depend on the Holy Spirit and God’s Word.

I’m so excited to share the news that my updated video course is here, Raising Godly Kids!

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We need God’s help, and we must be humble, willing to learn, and grow. It’s by the grace of God that anyone raises Godly children. I’m not writing here as a mom who did it perfectly. In Titus 2, God commands the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands and to love their children. I am doing that here and I encourage you to get my Raising Godly Kids Course if you’re ready for more.

I’m here to give you encouragement as an older mom/Titus 2 woman, who has raised her children and by God’s grace, they are grown children who love the LORD and are walking with Him. If you want to know 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail, and how to avoid that, please read on, and also go to the other posts and resources linked below.

Satan would like parents to think, “Training your children is just following steps A, B, and C, and then you will get result D!” And it will all be great! “It’s simply a matter of following the right steps, and you’ll have the desired results, without relying on the LORD at all!”

Satan also tells us that we are failures, and tempts us not even to try! Naturally, the world and our flesh help him on both counts. Do you want to succeed in raising your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? Of course, we all do! Then, avoid these five mistakes. But, remember, it is the work of the Holy Spirit to create Godly character in our kids, when all is said and done!

Here are 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail and What to Avoid

How to be consistent in Christian parenting and succeed, avoiding these 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail! | Your Home For God

Reason #1: You’re relying on yourselves in parenting, instead of the Lord.

Satan wants you to believe that your family is alone–the only ones–struggling with bad attitudes, and dealing with character issues. He wants you to believe that if you ignore the sinful attitudes and behavior you see in your children, they’ll eventually outgrow it. That it’s just a phase. And, he tells you, by all means, don’t share your problems with anyone!  Fake it til you make it! Hide it from everyone. Pretend that you have your act together. The world also gives false encouragement, “You’ve got this! You can do it!”

Here is the truth. You are in the spiritual battle of your life, and you can’t fight it alone, and win. But, be encouraged. You have the LORD’s help and the right weapons in the Word of God. Victory is attainable, relying on the Lord. Fight, with total reliance on the LORD. And, be humble and ask for prayer–pray for one another–and look for help from spiritual authorities, when appropriate.

Reason #2: You’re reading the wrong parenting book and listening to the wrong people.

Which Parenting Book Are You Reading?

Are you reading the latest best-selling psychology book on parenting and child training, or are you reading “The Book,” the Bible, God’s Word? A popular trend right now is to proudly announce how many books you will read this year, or this month. Sometimes the numbers are staggering!

While there’s nothing wrong with reading great books–I strongly encourage it, and I’m reading five Christian books for women, as we speak–it makes me wonder how much time a person has left to study the Bible. (Since first publishing this post, I’ve had to cut back on my outside reading in order to read through the Bible in a year, as I do every year.) If you only have time today to read one book, make sure it’s the Bible.


Only one book is God’s inspired Word on raising Godly boys and girls successfully. I need to say this to myself, but, make sure that your Bible study comes first, and all other reading, or other activities, come second, in your day.

Reason #3: You think it’s an ordinary battle, fought with ordinary weapons.

The Battle For Righteousness Exists In Every Home

This battle rages in every home, at some point, if you seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness first. If you desire to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and desire to live a pure and holy life, to set your mind on things above, the battle lines will be drawn.

It’s important to remember that there is a spiritual battle going on every day for your children. Let’s be honest; there’s a spiritual battle for your marriage, too. Maybe you think it’s only in yours. You can’t see it in other’s homes. But, it’s there.

We could help each other more, if we’d be a little more transparent, and bear one another’s burdens, as the Scriptures say. We must pray for one another! We tragically miss out on powerful prayer from our brothers and sisters in Christ, that would enable us to have victory, by not recognizing and admitting we’re in a spiritual battle.

Christian parenting is tough! Get Raising Godly Kids course to know the secrets from an experienced mom of grown Godly kids.
Get the Updated Video Course, Raising Godly Kids

Never forget you are fighting a spiritual battle in the work of training your children to be Godly adults (and in making a strong, faithful, Godly marriage)! Raising Godly kids is not done in the flesh. You need God’s weapons! You will not win unless you fight with the spiritual weapons God has provided in His Word, recorded in Ephesians 6. Put on God’s whole armor, and get on your knees and pray! Crying out to your Heavenly Father on behalf of the children He has given you.

Reason #4: You don’t fast and pray God’s commands and His will.

Fast and Pray

At one time, I spent part of every Monday on my knees in prayer next to my bed. That was when I first began praying Scripture as one of my spiritual routines. Asking God for what He’d already said in His Word, and I knew He wanted it. (Watch my YouTube video, “Encouragement to Be YOU for God’s glory and to fulfill His Purpose, Pt 2,” where I tell more of this story and the powerful testimony of God’s work in our lives at that time!)

Want to be consistent in Christian parenting and know how to avoid the 5 Reasons Why Parents Fail? Read on! Your Home For God

I prayed for our family, and included the families from our church, on those Mondays. I prayed for marriages, for husbands to love their wives and wives to reverence their husbands, and for children, that they would honor and obey their parents, according to Ephesians 6.

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask

anything according to his will, he heareth us:

And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that

we have the petitions that we desired of him. (1 John 5:14-15)

The Word of God does not return void. (Isaiah 55:11) Keep turning your children back to the Word. You know you’re praying for God’s will when you pray God’s commands.

Christian parenting is tough! Get Raising Godly Kids course to know the secrets from an experienced mom of grown Godly kids.
Get the Updated Video Course, Raising Godly Kids

Reason #5: You don’t realize the real issue is that your child isn’t saved.

Get a Heart Check Up

It’s a heart issue. And, a spiritual issue. If they are not truly saved, that may be why you’re dealing with the attitude and behavior issues in the first place. Seeing no desire to please the Lord? Perhaps it’s because they don’t have the Holy Spirit living inside them, and it’s completely normal that they would have no desire for the things of the Lord, or to please Him, in that case! That is where you need to start.

It is imperative to show them from God’s Word what will result from their sin if they don’t repent and turn from it to the Lord Jesus Christ and accept His free gift of salvation.

Speaking to them about Jesus’ death and resurrection is the first thing to do if there’s a chance that they are not truly saved. We cannot expect unsaved people to act like they were saved. Including our own children.

Good behavior can’t be pasted on. Or let’s remind ourselves, as parents, that we don’t want it pasted on. As Christian parents, we can easily fall into the temptation of caring more for appearance than heart change. It’s not enough for their behavior to make us look good. It’s not enough that our kids’ behavior doesn’t disrupt our busy days, so we can get our work done and have peace in our homes. We must seek for their hearts to be truly changed, and for salvation and sanctification to occur!

We Were Not Perfect Parents

Of course, we tried to raise our kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but, looking back, we failed miserably, often! We Really blew it. Many times, we said the wrong thing, chose the wrong path, or were too this or that.

But, God was so merciful to us, and gave us so much grace. He forgave us over and over again. Our children forgave us.  God brought people and circumstances, good and bad, and blessings and trials into our lives that our children and we needed to grow us in the Lord, teach us many lessons, and make us more like His Son.

Let’s trust God instead and apply these Biblical principles and, if possible, avoid these five mistakes and parenting failures by God’s grace and power. Though we didn’t totally avoid all these mistakes, God overcame them with His grace and power. And, He can do that in your lives, as well. Raising Godly children is, in the end, His work in their hearts. Check out my resources on Christian Parenting in my store: my Workshops on how to go about Raising Godly kids, and be sure to get my book, “A 2020 Vision for Raising Godly Kids.”  (If you subscribe to Your Home For God’s email newsletter, you’ll receive this book free in the first week! And, you’ll also get free Checklists for Consistent Daily Routines! If you are already a subscriber and haven’t received them, contact me at [email protected] and ask for them.)

Christian parenting is tough! Get Raising Godly Kids course to know the secrets from an experienced mom of grown Godly kids.
Get the Updated Video Course, Raising Godly Kids

We’ve answered five reasons why parents may fail at raising children in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. You will succeed only by God’s grace, and His work through you. Aim for consistency, not perfection, and prioritize God’s goals for your unique family, home, and life. There are many factors, and though there are steps that count and are important, in the end, it is God’s work in their hearts to bring them to Christ, which is the ultimate and most important thing, and that’s not our own doing. This explains why one child in a home will go astray, while the others believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and walk in His ways. That is a heartbreaking situation for many families.

I hope that this has been an encouragement to you to trust in the Lord, and rely on Him. Keep on praying for, being an example to, and training your children, for God’s glory!

Here are Related Posts:

  • How to Be Saved by God (It is God’s work in hearts to bring your children, or anyone, to Christ, which is the most important thing.)
  • Raising Godly Kids (This is the first blogpost in a series of blog posts on the specifics of how to Raise Godly Kids!)
  • Get my course, Raising Godly Kids Course, for what to prioritize and to know what is most important to focus on in parenting in my Your Home For God Store in the Christian Parenting Collections! (Also available is Your Kids For God–a 10-short-video Workshop on Christian Parenting.)
Christian parenting is tough! Get Raising Godly Kids course to know the secrets from an experienced mom of grown Godly kids.
Get the Updated Video Course, Raising Godly Kids

Have a Great Day Making Your Home For God!

Wendy Gunn at Your Home For God helps Christian women raise Godly kids, find & fulfill their purpose and achieve God's goals for their life.

I help Christian moms raise their kids according to Biblical principles, get organized to manage life, achieve their unique God-given goals and dreams, and fulfill God’s purpose for them to make a difference in the world through my workshops, courses, and coaching founded on Biblical principles. You are already successful in many areas. I can help you in those that you’re not. Dream big dreams, and see God transform and use your life in amazing ways! Let’s work together for your success!

In Your Home For God’s Store, discover resources to help you get organized, raise Godly kids, and have the support and encouragement to know who you are, know what God wants you to do to fulfill His purpose for your life, and achieve His unique goals for you!

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