What’s the #1 character trait you need to train in, as a parent? What does God command children to do, in the Bible? 

#1 Character Trait to Train in: Obedience

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Read All The Posts in The Series on Obedience in Children and Share Them With Other Moms You Know Who Need This!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2:What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3: How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent

Part 5:Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child

Is your child’s disobedience and bad attitude ruining the peace of your home and consequently your relationship with them is really strained?  

Admittedly, I found it hard to love my children at times. I had to ask God to give me love for that small child and I felt really guilty about it. Doesn’t a mother naturally love her children? 

Becoming angry with your children more and more, well, maybe not angry, but…impatient, will definitely wear on your positive emotions towards your child.

“Training children in first-time obedience is one of the most loving things a parent can do.” Wendy Gunn

Are you at your wit’s end as to how to get them to do what they’re told, and feeling like a failure as a parent? Do you constantly feel like you need to get away from home to relax and breathe, and so you can be a nice person again. Mama, there’s hope.

What is the Definition of the character trait you need to train in

Do you know the definition of the character trait you need to train in? Do you know what you’re expecting? The answer is not difficult, but it will require a change in your thinking, and repentance and discipline on your part. It will work best, if you and your husband are on the same page. Obedience isn’t obedience unless it’s immediate, complete and cheerful. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “first-time obedience”?

Discipline Attitudes, Not Only Behavior

The reason we get angry is because we don’t take action at the first moment our child disobeys or delays to obey. We let the bad attitude go on until it becomes an action, and then we discipline. We need to deal with the attitude. And right away. But, before you clamp down, pray and communicate the change to your children.

Steps to Change Your Parenting Behavior

1. Ask your children for forgiveness for not training their character the way you should.

2. Tell them that from now on you are going to expect them to obey you immediately, completely and cheerfully.

I can hear you saying, “Yeah, right.” Mama, if you have the attitude that it’s not possible for your children to obey you, you are not thinking Biblically, and you are doomed for failure. 

God expects His children to obey Him. You must train your children as early as possible to obey you in preparation to obey Him. It is the most loving thing you can do and will greatly help them in their Christian life.

The #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In: Training Plan

• Pray and decide what behavior you will expect and what defines disobedience, bad attitudes, talking back, etc., and what consequences you will give. Write it down.
• Explain to your children what now will be expected of them and what will be the consequences for not immediately obeying or for showing a bad attitude. We gave our children (aged 9-14) 10 seconds to start moving. 
• Allow your children to ask questions about the new system, but not complain.
• Set a Start Date.
• Cheerfully and consistently follow through the first time, every time.
• Be exceedingly attentive for the first few days to catch any and every infraction.

Obedience that is immediate, complete and cheerful is the number one character trait you need to train in, because God commands this, in His Word. 

You, as a parent, must train in first-time obedience, because God commands children to obey their parents, but He promises blessing for it! In the next posts, I’ll be sharing how we succeeded in this in our family and home.