What is The Most Important to Focus on in Parenting

Want to know what is the most important to focus on in parenting? There are so many voices telling you so many contradictory things. Titus 2 says the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands, love their children and be keepers at home.

​Homeschooled start to finish, by God’s grace, to adulthood. We Homeschooled start to finish. They’re walking with the Lord, praise God. We made so many mistakes. We learned so much.

This teaching comes from my parenting experience, and what God taught me over the years. What you’ll read today is only a small part of the whole! It began as a talk I gave to a group of women who were attending a “Titus 2 Day” at our church. I love speaking to groups of young moms! I hope you’ll feel it’s a help and an encouragement, as much as they did. 

Exciting news: there’s much more, so I’m preparing a course on Christian Parenting, that will include an Ebook, audio book, video course, Group Coaching online sessions and more! Watch for it! Let me know any parenting questions you have and thoughts on what you’d like to see included in the course! 

What Are The Most Important Character Qualities To Train In

“The two most important character qualities to teach your children are: Attentiveness and Obedience.” Wendy Gunn

Why Are Attentiveness and Obedience Most Important

The 2 most important character qualities to teach your children are: Attentiveness and Obedience, because they show honor and obedience to parents, which is the number one instruction God has for children. God promises blessing to children when they honor and obey their parents. 

Ephesians 6:1-3: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. ² Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; ³ That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

What Are The Most Important Responsibilities for Parents: The 3-Legged Stool Analogy

The 3 legs of your parenting stool are:Your Prayer, Your Example and Your Training. If you take the first letters as an acronym, they spell PET, to make it easy to remember. Prayer, Example and Training or Teaching. Watch this video on the power of Prayer, Example and Training.

If any of the three legs is quite a bit shorter than the others, your stool will fall over: We must train our children, but also do and be what we say we want them to do and be; and most of all, we must be on our knees diligently praying for our children.

Important, Next to the Most Important

Fast and pray…for your children, your husband, your marriage and family and your church. Prayer is so, so, so important, in every aspect of life. And, fasting, though it seems Christians have forgotten it, is also important.

The Top 5 Most Important Things

The Christian Parenting Course will go into much more depth on what I think are The Most Important Things to Focus on, (Goals to Shoot For) in Christian Parenting. If I could only tell you ten things that are, to me, the most important, they are what I’d tell you. Today, I’ll briefly touch on the Top 5 Most Important Things. 

Wouldn’t you like an older mom who’s been there to ask questions of and to pray for you and to support you on your journey? Don’t you wish you had someone to encourage you when you are filled with doubt? Well, now you can have one! Watch for the Christian Parenting course that’s coming!  You can have a vision, purpose and direction in your parenting, and a sense of peace, knowing that you are on the right track in your parenting! 

1) Quiet Time

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Read the Bible through every year, if possible (if you struggle to read any of the Bible, though, just make sure you are reading the Word every day, no matter what it takes! But, don’t worry right now about getting through the whole Bible), memorize it, sit at the Lord’s feet, pour out your heart to Him. He must be most important in your whole life and everything you teach your children must be centered on loving Him first and foremost.

2) Consistency

What are the things your children will say, “Mom always said this,” or, “She always did that”? They will most definitely hear your voice speaking in their head. What do you want people to say about you at the end of your life? What do you want going through your children’s heads when they’re away from you, after they grow up? Choose them now. And make sure they’re Biblical. And important. Repeat them often and work on having these as the thread that runs through your whole life. Strive for increasing consistency in Christ-likeness.

3) Strive for increasing order

This is a life-long challenge for all of us, isn’t it? A Godly woman once said, “It’s not where you are that’s important, but what direction you’re headed.” My motto is, “Aim for Progress, not Perfection.”

4) Sit Down At The Table As A Family

A recent survey conducted by Eckrich(R), a product of ConAgra Foods, found that 40 percent of American families eat dinner together only three or fewer times a week, with 10 percent never eating dinner together at all. 1

Be committed to sitting down at the table, without distractions, for at least one family meal a day. I’m amazed at the number of families that don’t do this. It has become more rare. But, it is one mark of a Christian family that is headed for success. I understand the temptations and obstacles, but make this a non-negotiable, and dig your feet in to make it happen while you’re raising your children.

“Kids and teens who share family dinners 3 or more times per week, have better relationships with their parents, perform better academically and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors (drugs, alcohol, sex).” Wendy Gunn

5) Stay at home

When my children were younger we decided that 2 nights of planned weekly activities per week was the maximum we would commit to.

I started out Homeschooling thinking my children needed all the extracurricular activities, opportunities and “socialization,” but soon learned that is the road to disorder, strife at home, worldliness and developing wrong appetites in my children and me. 

Stay at Home Benefits

• Being home most days allowed us to see–and deal with–character issues in our children and ourselves.
• It allowed us to establish a routine—children thrive on routine.
• Staying home made them more happy and contented little people.
• Staying at home strengthened family relationships.
• It turned their hearts to their father, to Daddy.
• Staying home allowed us to train our children to work hard
• It gave us time to teach them skills that they needed to learn.
• We were able to be companions of the wise: real people, but also Godly characters in great books we read together aloud.
• Proverbs describes the wanton woman whose feet are never at home—I don’t want to have anything in common with her.

1. Quiet Time
2. Consistency
3. Strive for Increasing Order
4. Be committed to sitting down at the table – without distractions 0 for at least one family meal a day.
5. Stay at home

These are only the first 5, and an overview at that, of what is the most important to focus on in Christian Parenting. We have just skimmed the surface! I’m sure you have many questions! Leave a comment, or shoot me an email!

“I ask whether you pray because diligence in prayer is the secret of eminent holiness.”

Wendy Gunn