How to Discipline My Child

Godly Parents Lovingly Discipline

How do I know how to discipline my child? Should I spank my child? How early should I begin? In what other ways will I have success in child discipline? What will hinder my efforts in raising Godly children? These are some of the questions that we've been tackling in this Series on Obedience in Children.

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

How to Discipline My Child

If you've missed any of the posts, scroll down below for the list and click on the links to go read them. You don't want to miss one of them! Your parenting success, the peace of your home, and God accomplishing His will in your children, are all at stake. Following the counsel there, your lives could be changed. That's how dramatic following this advice was in our home.

On the subject of spanking, spanking works best when all of God's Word, not just the verses in it on spanking, are taught, followed--and obeyed. What I've observed is, that, if first-time obedience is expected and consistently trained in a loving, calm way along with discipline being administered from a very young age, a child doesn't need much spanking! Very little is needed, actually. They are trained from a young age to obey. That's just the way it is in their household.

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Read all the posts in the Series on Obedience in Children and Share them!

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

Obedience in Children 5 Part Series

"Spanking is not child abuse."  Elisabeth Elliot

This is not for a minute an excuse for, or condoning of, abuse. Don't misunderstand.

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

You have to love them and be unselfish to discipline them consistently Obedience in Children Series

No parent enjoys disciplining their children, really. You have to love them and be unselfish to discipline your children consistently and appropriately. You have to love them more than your own comfort. It's not easy to be consistent, or to trust the Lord. You can't be looking at your neighbor to see what they think of your parenting, but keep your eyes on God and His Word.

"You can't be looking at your neighbor to see what they think of your parenting, but keep your eyes on God and His Word." Wendy Gunn

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If you forego spanking completely, the Bible says you are a parent who "hates your child." Wow. We've all heard the phrase, "Spare the rod and spoil the child."  That exact phrase I couldn't find anywhere in the Bible. But, there is much to say to parents about spanking being a good thing for the child. Of course, how you do it is very important. (Read the other posts.)

What I have seen happen when spanking is not practiced, is that a mom (or dad) tends to become an angry, repeating parent. Or, you try a lot of ineffective methods of discipline. If you try to go against the Bible's commands and instructions, you can expect problems.

Proverbs 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame."

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

Loving Discipline Requires a Little Pain.

The goal in Biblical discipline is that the child should learn to obey, not only their parents, but God, from becoming disciplined within themselves, and out of love for the Lord, therefore not needing (much) outside discipline.

When your child receives the free gift of salvation, and is saved, believing on the Lord Jesus Christ, you will see a changed heart, and the Holy Spirit at work in their life. Your prayers for this and sharing the gospel with your children, are all important.

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We want our children to be motivated from the heart to obey the Lord, and their parents, for this is God's will. God promises blessing to the child who learns to honor and obey their parents.

Loving Discipline Requires a Little Pain

It's almost funny that we embrace the saying, "No pain, no gain," in regards to discipline and training of our bodies (children or adult). Why then do we react to the idea of there being pain experienced in order for a child to become disciplined in their spirit and soul?

Hebrews 12:11 - "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby."

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord:  for this is right.

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

 Ephesians 6:1-3

Definition of Discipline

The following is an excellent definition of child discipline (the practice of "spanking" a child) which Elisabeth Elliot gives in her book, "The Shaping of a Christian Family," in which she recounts the story of her own upbringing:

"A spanking is not child abuse. It is a deliberate measure of pain, delivered calmly, lovingly, and with self-control, on a loved child in order to deliver him from self-will and ultimate self-destruction." Elisabeth Elliot

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Discipline Calmly, Lovingly, With Self-Control

Administer "pain" in a calm, loving manner--in other words, spank a child--when they disobey, (please read all my other posts on this subject to get the full story and in context) because God instructs us not to "spare the rod." Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." (disciplines him early)

I've watched countless individuals grow up, who were spanked as children in the way I've outlined, who are now happily married, raising their families, and continuing the practice of administering discipline by spanking, when necessary.


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I've observed the wonderful results, in more cases than I could count, of individuals who were intentionally spanked as children in obedience to God's Word, who are now happily married, and continuing the practice with their children.

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I also know a few, who have chosen not to spank in the way I've outlined, who don't like being a mom very much, and are very frustrated by their children's behavior, and frankly, exhausted.

In my opinion, it's good when the Dad administers the discipline, but whether Dad or Mom does the disciplining, I recommend using a neutral object, such as a wooden spoon. Try it out on yourself first. You don't need much--just enough to sting a little. (The scope of these posts has not been such to go into a lot of detail on how to spank, but I think there's enough to get you started.)

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

How to Discipline My Child

Proverbs 22:15: "Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
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Spanking isn't the only discipline that should be, or is, given in a loving, Godly home. There has to be training and teaching from the Word of God. There have to be rebukes and reprimands, and consequences that match the offense. Withholding of privileges at times. Clearly taught rules and expectations, and principles from God's Word lived out. Consistently.

This isn't to say that it's easy. There's a spiritual battle going on, remember. (See my post on "Christian Parenting is Tough.") And don't despair thinking, "I've failed! I'm not perfect!"

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

Christian Parenting is Tough! Cry out to God for help!

No one is. We're all learning. We all need forgiveness. We're all failing to some degree. We need God's help in Raising Godly children, because it requires the Holy Spirit's work in the hearts of the children. Beg God for help!

However, for the most part, the children who are disciplined in the way I've outlined, are happy, well-adjusted, and obedient, respectful little people, because they know what's what. Consistent training from God's Word and discipline has been applied.

They see that what their parents say is true. What the parents say, they do, and justice is administered. The children know they deserved the punishment when they receive it. It makes them feel loved, and secure.

Spanking works best when all of God's Word, not just the verses on spanking, are taught, followed and obeyed. What I've observed is, that, if first-time obedience is expected and consistent loving, calm, training and discipline are administered from a very young age, a child doesn't need much spanking! Very little is needed, at all, actually. They are trained from a young age to obey. It's just the way it is in their household.

Want consistency in Christian Parenting? How to Discipline my child | Your Home For God

You have to love them and be unselfish to discipline them consistently Obedience in Children Series

Read all the posts in the Series on Obedience in Children. Share them with someone you think would benefit!

Checklists for Consistent Routines will help you be consistent and prioritize what's most important! Get FREE Checklists today!

Struggling with Inconsistency?

Get Your FREE Checklists for A Consistent Morning Routine and Evening Routine Today!

Have a Great Week Making Your Home For God!

I help young Christian moms have clarity and consistency prioritizing God's Unique Goals for their home, family, and life! | Wendy Gunn | Your Home For God

I help overwhelmed young Christian moms have clarity and consistency prioritizing God's unique goals for their home, family, and life through courses and coaching.

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Wendy Gunn

Wendy Gunn helps young Christian moms have clarity and consistency prioritizing God's Unique Goals for their home, family, and life through courses and coaching.

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