This is Part 1 in a month-long series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want.” Is there that much to say of importance about criticism? In a word, yes. Pay attention to how many times you criticize your husband, family, and friends over the next 24 hours. If you’re like most people, you will be surprised. We have been together with our families much more over these last months. These are trying times, tensions are high, communication may have become strained, and we may have fallen into bad habits. Read this helpful series!
How Do You Like Criticism | Your Home For God
There’s not much about the word criticism that feels warm and fuzzy. For the most part, criticism is seen as negative. Giving and receiving criticism tends to feel overwhelming and can leave relationships broken if feelings are hurt. That’s because people equate criticism with being mean. The truth is, criticism doesn’t have to be a negative experience. It’s too bad that criticism has such a bad reputation.
Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character (Part 6)
- More on How to Take Criticism Well
The definition from Webster’s 1828 dictionary:
criticism, unfavorable judgment (noun)disapproval expressed by pointing out faults or shortcomings:”The senator received severe criticism from his opponent.”
Also: “To pass judgment on with respect to merit or blame; as, to criticise an author; to criticise the conduct.”
A synonym of criticizing is censure, which means: “1. The act of blaming or finding fault and condemning as wrong; applicable to the moral conduct, or to the works of men. When applied to persons, it is nearly equivalent to blame, reproof, reprehension, reprimand. It is an expression of disapprobation, which often implies reproof.”
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The Bible Has Much To Say About How to Give and Receive Reproof
The Bible has a lot to say about reproof and rebuke, two synonyms of criticism or closely-related words, and how we are to receive them:
“He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.”
Proverbs 15:32
Healthy criticism (some call it constructive or positive criticism), can be beneficial and help us grow. We will look deeper into our response to reproof later.
Criticism Has a Bad Reputation
Understanding why criticism has a bad reputation isn’t too hard. The term critic refers to an individual who communicates an assessment and opinion on various topics. Think—
- Movie Critic
- Food Critic
- Fashion Critic
Critics are usually professionals in the field they critique and have experience and a frame of reference that makes them qualified to give an informed opinion. Most people equate the term critic with unfavorable reviews but that isn’t always the case. A critique can be positive or negative and both have merit.
It Is Often Hardest To Take From Those Closest To Us
Everyday people are critics too. Everyone has an opinion, a review, or feedback about everything. It’s normal to come to a conclusion about something—both positive and negative—and share your thoughts and feelings. Useful criticism might sting, but it truly can help you become better. The key isn’t what’s said, often, but how it’s said.
Delivering criticism or a tough truth doesn’t have to wound or demean. Proverbs 27:6–“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” It’s entirely possible to critique someone or something while maintaining dignity and integrity.
How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want.
How Well Do You Take it and Why?
Likewise, it’s possible to receive criticism without feeling guilt and shame. Hearing constructive criticism can trigger some intense defenses, but it doesn’t have to. Oftentimes reactions are linked to the past. If you’ve experienced harsh criticism (rebuke) in the past and didn’t take it well or it left a scar, you may find all criticism to be painful.
Families are where we hear and give our first criticism. Proverbs 13:1–“A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.” We’ll talk a lot this month about how to give and receive criticism as a parent, son, daughter, or spouse.
Understanding why criticism has a bad reputation can help you deconstruct the criticism and analyze it. It’s wise to evaluate how you give criticism, as well as analyze how you receive criticism.
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Most People Don’t Like Hearing Negative Feedback
Knowing that most people don’t like to hear something negative can help you deliver critical feedback in better ways. There’s no reason to be harsh when delivering criticism. This applies particularly in administering discipline to your child. And, there’s no benefit to offering feedback when you’re upset. And, realize that it’s common to have to work at receiving criticism well since the Bible talks so much about how it should be done.
Being harsh when giving criticism only causes people to become defensive. That’s a lose/lose situation and the exact reason why criticism has a bad reputation. Criticism can be a very good thing, though.
Would you be surprised to know how often you criticize | Your Home For God
We’re going to talk about this topic from multiple angles, try to break it down to see what is helpful and what is not, and learn how to give and receive criticism as God would want. As a follower of Jesus Christ, of course, we’ll look to the Bible for our answers on how to give and receive it.
As you become aware of how you give and receive criticism, and how much of it is in your world, you can begin to change your understanding and feeling about it and start to be more open to healthy criticism and benefit from valuable feedback.
Hit reply and let me know: Do you think you take criticism well or do you have a hard time with it and why?
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
Read the Whole Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want” (more to come)!
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character (Part 6)
- More on How to Take Criticism Well
“How We Homeschool” Series Happening Now!
Are you a New or Newer Homeschooler? Or maybe you’ve been at it for awhile, but really could use some support and encouragement? Join me in the month-long Series, “How We Homeschool” over at The Fervent Mama! I’m privileged to be a Contributor joining other veteran finished Homeschool moms, and still-Homeschooling moms, each weekday in the month of September posting helpful tips, how-tos, and encouragement for you! There are freebies, deals on Homeschool products you’ll love, two Giveaways, and much, much more! So much fun!
Read these posts: How to Create a Homeschool Routine That Works, and Tips to Organize Your Homeschool!
How to Create a Homeschool Routine That Works
Tips to Organize Your Homeschool
Have a Great Week Making Your Home For God!
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